薩古魯：根據自己的需求決定是否結婚

薩古魯談到了人類的各種需求，這些需求推動我們建立關系——身體的、情感的、心理的、經濟的和社會的。今天，在本系列的最后一部分里，他將告訴我們更多關于如何在我們內在認識這些需求，并且作為個體就婚姻問題做出決定。

Sadhguru: You must see, first of all, whether for you as a person, the need for a partnership is important or just a passing thing. I would say, at least 25 to 30 percent of the people do not need to even go in that direction because it is just a passing interest. For another 30 to 40 percent, it may be a little longer and they get into this. For 10 to 12 years they feel good and after that they think it’s a burden. But there are some people for whom the need is very strong. About 25 to 30 percent need partnerships for a much longer period; they definitely need to get into such arrangements.

Sadhguru（薩古魯）： 你必須看清楚，首先你作為一個人，對于伴侶關系的需求是很重要的還是只是一時的需要。我要說，至少25%到30%的人甚至是不需要走向那個方向的，因為那只是一時的興趣。對于另外的30%到40%的人，也許興致更長一些，然后他們就走進去了。有10到12年他們會感覺良好，過了之后他們會認為那是一種負擔。不過，有一些人他們的需求是非常強烈的。大約25%到30%的人需要更長時間的伴侶關系；那么他們肯定需要進入這樣的安排。

A live-in relationship is not the solution to handle your needs.

同居關系不是處理你的需求的解決方案。

Right now, people have found other kinds of solutions. Especially in the West, and in India also it is beginning to happen. “Okay, I won’t get married, I will just live-in.” So live in; if you are just living with one person, anyway it is marriage, whether you have a certificate or not. But if you think you can choose your partners every weekend, you are causing a serious damage to yourself. Because, just as your mind has a memory, your body has a much stronger sense of memory. The body imbibes and retains experiences. If you go to the Himalayas, you may for get the Himalayas, but your body will not forget them. Always, it will remember. Mentally, you may get dementia and lose all your memory. But the physical will carry it on.

現在，人們發現了其它的解決方案。特別是在西方，在印度也開始出現。“好啊，我不結婚，我們只是住在一起。”所以就同居了；如果你只是跟一個人，那么不管你有沒有證書，那就是婚姻。但是如果你想每個周末都換伴侶，那么你正在對自己造成嚴重的傷害。因為，正如你的頭腦有記憶，你的身體有更強烈的記憶。身體吸收并保留各種體驗。如果你去到喜馬拉雅，你可能忘記了喜馬拉雅，可是你的身體不會忘記。它會一直記得。精神上，你可能會癡呆并失去所有的記憶。可是身體將會一直保有它們。

So physical intimacy is, in the Indian tradition, called Runanabandha. Runanabandha refers to the body’s physical memory. The body develops a deep sense of memory about physical intimacy. It responds and reacts in many ways in the future, based on this memory. If you imprint too many memories, there will be confusion in the body. Too many memories like this leads to a certain level of confusion and a certain level of misery. You can clearly see this. People who are loose with their life and their physical body, they will never know any real sense of joy. Please watch this carefully around you. They can never laugh totally, nor can they cry totally. They will become like this - because confusing memories in the physical body in one lifetime will create a lot of impressions. So, a live-in relationship is not the solution to handle your needs.

因此，按照印度的傳統，身體接觸稱為Runanabandha。 Runanabandha指的是身體的物理記憶。 身體會對身體上的親密行為產生深刻的記憶。 它將來會以多種方式做出響應和反應。 如果你植入了太多的記憶，身體就會有些混亂。 太多像這樣的記憶會導致一定程度的混亂和一定程度的痛苦。 你能清晰地看到這些。 那些放縱自己的生命和肉體的人，他們永遠不會有任何真正的快樂。 你可以細心地觀察一下你身邊的人。 他們不會盡情地笑，也不會盡情地哭。 他們將會變成這樣——因為在一生中物質身體的混亂記憶將會留下很多印跡。 所以，同居關系不是處理你的需求的解決方案。

Either you go into marriage or you simply go beyond these needs. But this is something that you have to look at individually - how strong is your need. If you want to look at this with clarity, without social influence, it is always best that you take some time off, let's say a month. When you make this decision, you must be in a state of clarity. You must not be influenced by anybody. Not by your Guru, not by society, not by anybody. Just meditate and bring yourself into a certain state of clarity. In that clarity, look at your needs and how strong they really are.

要么你走進婚姻，要么你超越這些需求。但這是你必須自己考慮的問題——你的需求有多強烈。如果你想在沒有社會影響的情況下清晰地看待這個問題，那么最好花一些時間，比如說一個月。當你做這個決定時，你必須處在一種清晰的狀態下。你不被任何人影響。不被你的古魯，不被社會，不被任何人影響。就只是冥想，把自己帶入一種清晰的狀態。在那種清晰的狀態下，觀察你的需求，看它們到底有多強烈。

If you find that marriage is not necessary, that’s it, once you make a decision, don’t look that way. If you make a decision to go that way, don’t look this way. One of these things you must do. If you hang around in between, you will remain in a constant state of confusion. “Which is the best thing?” There is no best thing. Live your life like that - whatever you’re doing, that is all you’re doing. Absolutely. If you have this quality, whatever you do, it is fine. But constant shifting; people who are married for 15 years are now thinking, “Maybe I should have taken Brahmacharya.” People who have been Brahmacharis for 10 years, now they think,“ Maybe I should have gotten married.” This is an endless waste of life.

如果你發現婚姻并非必要，那就是它了，一旦你做出一個決定，就不要再往那條路看。如果你做出了一個決定要走那條路，就不要再往這條路看。你必須兩者取其一。如果你在兩者之間難以取舍，你將始終處于混亂的狀態。“哪一個是最好的？”沒有最好的。這樣過自己的生活——無論在做什么，那就是你在做的一切，徹底地。如果你有這種品質，不管你做什么，都很好。但是不斷地變換；結了婚15年的人在想“也許我應該選擇Brahmacharya（僧侶的道路）”已經成為Brahmacharis（僧人）10年的人在想“也許我應該結婚。”這是在無止境地浪費生命。